Disappointed

I was surfing the internet this morning when my yahoo messenger popped up and one of my classmates told me that the result of the University of the Philippines College Admission Test (UPCAT) was out already. Honestly, I was nervous when I got this news. The UPCAT was somewhat hard and I wasn’t feeling well that day. When I was about to view the list, I feel very sad when I noticed that my name was not there. It’s very frustrating to know that you did your best but maybe, it wasn’t the best to be able to pass the test. I’m happy for my friends especially my seatmate who passed the entrance exam and I know they are worthy of passing. At first, it was so nerve-wracking because the website for the results is slow and sometimes can’t give the information right away and your there in front of the computer waiting if you have passed. After which, I asked my classmate if she passed and she told me that she didn’t. We were disappointed but we just laugh out what we feel. The slots in the UPCAT were not meant for us and we must accept that. As what my cousin said, it’s not the only entrance test that I took so it’s proper that I accept the fact and hope for the best on the results of the other tests.

If you are going to ask me how I feel right now, I would answer you with “very bad”. I know that passing the entrance test depends on me. Maybe I was not prepared or I miss a lot of questions, etc.! I feel so dumb by not passing that test. Some will say that it’s just a test but for me, it’s not. The percentage of UP High School students could make or break UP College and I was really ashamed of the fact that I’m one of those who could possibly break UP College. Even though I would not go to college in UP, I don’t want to fail and at least, I could prove to myself that I’m capable of being an “iskolar ng bayan”. As what had happened, I didn’t pass and it’s His plan. Somewhat it’s funny to think that it could be a sign that I must take up BS Nursing and not Fine Arts. But no! I’m not giving up my dream and I’ll pursue it after I will graduate from college. Even if it hurts to know that I might not be a UPIAN.

It’s never too late to be sorry so I’ll just give my best in the next or all the test that I would be taking up someday and I would promise to myself that I would do better next time. Better in which I could pass already and not be ashamed of myself. Better in which my parents could be proud of me. And better in which that I would not be hurt this way.